By Pastor Rhoda Kelin Miller
Last Christmas I bought a small poinsettia with lovely marbled red and white leaves. It was thriving between the fireplace and patio door as the weeks went on so I decided it would be one of my goals to keep the plant alive until Christmas 2021. For 11 months I faithfully tended it as it shed the red leaves and grew new green ones. I researched advice from master gardeners on how to force its winter bloom. Once the fall weather cooled I brought it back indoors and began covering it at 5pm each night so it would spend 14 hours in darkness. I’m not sure if it was a temperature shock or the irritation of the paper bag going over its tender branches but in late November it just shriveled and died. One month shy of what should’ve been its Christmas debut. Instead of putting it in the compost I’m keeping the decaying twigs on display. A memorial to the best laid plans that fail. The shadow of death still exists during “the most wonderful time of the year”. My heart needs to hold space for both joy and grief in this season. There are many in our community who lost loved ones, homes, wages and dreams this year. Being mindful the holiday season can amplify sorrow when misaligned with the rest of the world in a party mood, here are some practical ways to extend Jesus’ comfort to those who mourn at this time of year. Firstly, offer and encourage connection. Grief tends to drive isolation. A text, call or card can be essential reminders a person is loved and cared for. Get over the awkwardness of not knowing what to say. Nothing you can say will make it better. Your presence matters more. Follow the example of Jesus described in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.” Next, identify their physical needs. When Elijah was exhausted and in despair, God sent an angel to feed the prophet and give him rest (1 Kings 19:3-6). Ready-made meals and gift cards for food delivery make it easier on those who have lost their appetite and energy to cook. Finally direct them to a safe space to speak about their experience and emotions. Sadly the emphasis Christians place on the hope of resurrection can leave people feeling guilty about expressing grief in church. However, the same Jesus who called His friend Lazarus out of the tomb still wept over his death (John 11:35). We should not feel ashamed of our God-given capacity to cry. God cares about the tears we shed (Psalm 56:8). He doesn’t insist we suck it up and move on. God is at work healing our broken hearts until the day He’ll dab the last tear from our cheek (Revelation 21:4). Until then let us be prepared to embrace hurting hearts.