This week we are delighted to share Words of Hope from author Reema Sukumaran. Her recently published memoir is a testimony of how God can heal the deepest wounds. She courageously bares her scars so others might find Jesus as their source of strength also.
From Beautifully Broken by Reema Sukumaran
I was at church one day, partly because Sanj’s team was singing but also because I still could not be left alone. I was scared. I was at my lowest ever. I had been robbed of my childhood. I had been abused instead of loved by my dad. I had been raped by someone I trusted. I had been beaten down so many times. I had refused to let those circumstances define me and had always found some way to get up, but now here I was, drowning. I felt like my life was just a mess, like I was wallowing in a cesspool. I was at rock bottom.
The last song was being sung. I could not find it in me to stand with the rest of the congregation. I didn’t have an ounce of strength left to hold back my tears. In my head I shouted out to God, begging Him with all I was to please, please, please, heal my brokenness, as I could not live this way anymore… what I was doing now was not living.
I sat there, my shoulders shaking with grief and my tears cascading down my cheeks. I wept. I had nothing left. It was then that I felt an arm around me. I felt myself being held. Sally. This beautiful lady, whom I had known as an acquaintance all these years, had recently reached out to me. We were getting closer. I had shared some of my pain. She was an ER nurse. She was also to me in that moment, an angel.
Sally let me weep. She prayed for me. She held me. The last song was sung. Penny and two others formed a circle around me. These ladies held me. They loved me. They prayed for me. I was not alone. I had an army of amazing people standing alongside me. They were not giving up on me, and God was not giving up on me. So I had to draw strength from these beautiful people and fight back. I had to find healing. I had to acknowledge the many wounds that were within me and find ways to resolve my pain.
In that moment I saw something very beautiful. I had been deeply hurt by my church but when I needed help the most, God used the women of my church to carry my pain.
For Reema’s full story visit her website : www.reematalks.com